Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I had to face one of my greatest fears to day; sitting in a classroom with all the other mothers from my son's class.

I got the normal 'sympathetic' looks, that I expected, as I'm an 'invisible' - rarely seen at the school gates, and tend to hover by myself when I am. It's not even that I'm anti social, far from it, but The School Gate thing has always been incredibly intimidating. Being a full time working mum, meant that I never got practiced in the art of The Gate small talk. Now it's got to the point, that I just don't know what to say, and always sound silly when I try. Having been a teacher, it's not even the 'school thing'. Give me a room full of teenagers, no problem. Parents at parents Evenings, no problem.

No it's not school, just The School Gates.

Even if they are not all 'Yummys' then I most certainly am a 'Scummy'. My day seemed quite normal; sitting barefoot typing away, plotting out script structure on little cards (very satisfying game), singing along to Amy (Winehouse), so what if I pulled the hoody and jeans off the floor and stuck random things in my hair to keep it out of my eyes.

Of course I was so lost in the little card game, I nearly missed the lift to The Gates and so ran out as I was. Flip-flops, random hair and all.

Ah. Beyond the 'sympathetic' looks, once in the classroom I realised what a state I was - truly scummy. Marker pen all over my hands, bare feet on a cold day la la la. I was not wearing clothes from M&S. I was not wearing sensible shoes. My hair was not 'styled'. I clearly was not even a gentle looking hippy type Mum. Everyone was taller than me (except our kids).

So whilst eclectic and random might best sum my dress sense up, in their presence, I looked and felt more like an Asbo-stylee-hoody-wearing-teen mum.

After the meeting, Oz and I walked down the road, bought an ice-cream, and snacks, and sat on the grass (not on the benches). Suddenly it really didn't seem to matter - I realised that everyone else had driven home and were doing far more sensible things, as we sat there in a world of our own. Supper will not be on the table anywhere close to 6. We are both full with ice cream and Jaffa cakes.


Liam said...


Just a comment for two reasons

a) I keep saying I will
b) Thank You so much for pushing me into writing those things baout my character(s). I now have 131 about the main character. Hurrah! It's all starting to look better already.


David Marc Napier Bate said...

And you, Oz and the world will be a better place for it. I would be lying if I said there weren't days when I doubted this, but, over the piece, if I was Oz, I 'd rather it was you meeting at the school gates than 90% of the other mothers.

emapple said...

scummy mummies rule! Don't mess.xx

miss-cellany said...

Liam - you (know) what I mean. A pleasure to help, vested interest really as I want to read your book.

Mr D, Thank you, always an honour when you wander over here.

Ms Apple :) Te he, lets take over the world...

Jen said...


You alway look flippin amazing and stylish.

I bet those other mums were either looking at you wishing they could be so cool


worrying about their own things like fact their jasmine plants have less flowers than next door's or that their husband has started borrowing their sensible M&S girdle and hold up tights.

Taiga the Fox said...

I think Oz is is quite lucky to have someone like you as a mother.

Travis said...

Dunno what a Jaffa CAKE is, but it's CAKE, and anyone who gets CAKE after a school meeting is cool.