Sunday, August 26, 2007

Portrait Of The PostGrad In The Last Week

You know that hand in is a week away when:

1) You nearly make a pot of coffee - with cat food.

2) Even with no childcare to sort out, you'd rather watch X Factor and eat Minstrels than go out.

3) You revert to finger food, thus avoiding the need to co-ordinate both knife and fork.

4) When you can be bothered to cook, you cook twice as much as needed, thus avoiding the need to cook again.

5) You realise that Hula Hoops are a great substitute for any form of potato/rice/pasta.

6) You find yourelf wondering if introducing a cat called 'Jack Sparrow' into a script might be a good idea.

7) Owning your own thermal heat binder seems like a good idea.

8) You buy acryllic paints and canvases and decide you might become an artist instead - if you knew what to paint.

9) You go out wearing jeans and a hoody - confused as to why the rest of the world are wandering round in shorts and summer clothes.

10) Sleep becomes a four letter word, and you realise you can't even count.

11) You seriously consider stealing a boat - whilst sober.

12) You put the same load of washing on for the 5th time, because it never gets hung to dry and smells.

13) You'd prefer to talk to a cat because they won't 'say the wrong thing'.

14) You get cross at a cat because it 'gave you a look'.

15) You start writing lists that account for your slightly irrational behaviour.


Valerie said...

You remind me disturbingly of my own experience finishing my Ph.D. dissertation. Ugh. It was 14 years ago and I can still feel it. Empathies coming your way...

Taiga the Fox said...

Oh dear, I remember that as well :)
I was finishing my MA dissertation when the other fox cub was a baby and the other was almost born. I was writing during the nights and finally wasn't fully aware if it was day or night anymore. Somewhere after the page 97 I went out with the boy, just wearing pyjamas, heading towards the bin. I woke up somewhere on the street, noticing that I was on my way to the bus stop instead.

Fi said...

Hey honey. I'm with you there. You just wrote my list except that I haven't watched tv in months, don't like minstrels, and don't have a cat. The muscle tone in my legs has morphed into flubber. When I stand upright, I nearly pass out from vertigo. I've been wearing the same hoody and jeans night and day for days, including in bed during the few hours 'rest', so-called sleep, I snatch. I feel like shit, look like shit, smell like shit... my life's gone down the tubes this past poxy 11 months and ok, so I'm ready print off this mother-fucker tomorrow - but then what? Will my kids ever forgive me? Do my kids even remember who I am (other than the shadowy half-figure) hunched over the evil pc screen. Sigh.
Will be good to see you friday. Big hugs all round xxxxxx Fi

Jen said...

He He that made me laugh. Cat food coffee, coming to a 'bucks near you soon.

The code I have to put in to publish this comment is

meoukf - perhaps the noise one would make upon drinking cat food coffee